What I've Learnt From Networking

Networking was something I had reservations about. Just the thought of it pushed me far out of my comfort zone! In my corporate job, my network of colleagues, suppliers, and customers grew organically over a period of 25 years. I had a solid reputation, credibility, and knew exactly who to go to for advice or help. I never had to go searching for my network.

Fast forward to 12 months ago, when I found myself creating a new business - alone. Armed with some ideas from business courses (and a lot of “figuring it out on the go”), I had no allies to offer words of wisdom or a friendly ear to listen to the frustrations of being a small business owner. I was starting from scratch, and there was no chance of word-of-mouth referrals in those early days.

Haemorrhaging what little money I had into advertising in magazines and paying for sales leads websites. It quickly became clear that I needed to get out there and actually network.

So, I pulled up my big-girl pants and went to my first networking meeting! Dressed in pre-COVID office attire and after dusting off my heels, I set my alarm for some ridiculous hour because the meeting started promptly at 7am. I decided to be one of the first ones there - no way was I walking into a room full of strangers already buzzing with conversations.

Now, I consider myself pretty confident. Put me on a stage in front of a crowd and I’ll do just fine - I’m witty, good at ad-libbing, and usually enjoy it. But small talk? One-on-one? With strangers? I’m useless and this is something that I’ve always struggled with, despite watching many TED talks and reading books on how to perfect the art of small talk. My mind goes blank and I can never think of the right icebreaker, defaulting to generic, closed questions that kill the conversation. When I’m asked about myself, my answers are so weak that I walk away feeling like I’ve completely undersold myself. Cue the drive home, replaying awkward conversations and cringing.

But once I get to know people, the conversations flow naturally - though I still sometimes struggle when it comes to talking about what I do.

I now regularly attend several networking groups, and here’s what I’ve learned:

✅ Breakfast clubs suit me better.

Although juggling family life can be tricky, I prefer getting out early and being back at my desk by 9:30, ready to tackle the day. Midday meetings can be hard to fit in once the work starts rolling in.

✅ Relax - everyone’s been there.

Every business owner started from the bottom. Some might be further up the ladder now, and some might slip down occasionally - but we’ve all faced similar challenges, no matter what business we’re in.

✅ Be authentic.

There’s that old saying: fake it until you make it. Sure, there’s some truth to it when you’re to sell yourself and dealing with clients early on, but among fellow business owners? It’s okay to be honest about the frustrations, vulnerabilities, and mistakes. Sharing these things (and hearing others share them too) is what helps us grow.

✅ Treat every meeting like a school day.

I go to networking meetings ready to be a sponge - soaking up advice, suggestions, and what not to do. Some things I’ve adopted and found success with; others I’ve decided aren’t for me. But keeping an open mind is essential. If you go in with a closed mindset, you won’t get anything out of it.

✅ Referrals will come - eventually.

You will receive referrals, maybe not straight away, as people need to know and trust you before they’ll recommend you, but they will come. Not every referral will convert, but at least you’re being talked about. For my business, most of my clients are fairly local - even though I can work nationally, there’s no better lead than a good old-fashioned word-of-mouth referral. Those leads come warm, with a built-in layer of credibility. And remember, nobody wants to risk their own reputation by recommending a cowboy!

✅ Navigating non-compete groups can be tricky.

Some networking groups have a “one seat per business type” policy, which makes sense. But there’s often crossover. A mortgage broker might also sell life insurance, which a financial advisor does too. There’s a certain etiquette about what you discuss in these scenarios and I learned this the hard way!

✅ Networking is a small world.

I often see the same faces in different networking groups, and I used to wonder if it was pointless to go to so many. But actually, it’s a good thing. Familiar faces help with confidence (which is great for me, see my previous point about small talk). Plus, there’s always someone new to meet - and getting a soft introduction from a mutual acquaintance is never a bad thing.

✅ Keep an open mind - leads come from unexpected places.

You never know who might pass a lead your way. Don’t dismiss anyone - referrals can come from the most surprising sources.

In summary - networking might have seemed scary to me at first, but it’s been worth it. I’m learning, growing, and making connections that are helping my business thrive -awkward small talk and all!